I've written about my experience with the death of my son. I know that I'm not alone and that others have had similar experiences, but it's still difficult to find ways to cope with the loss. Recently, as part of my healing process, I've been learning more about grief and understanding what goes on in my mind on the hard days so I can move forward after my loss. I am learning about the many stages of grief you might go through after losing someone close to you, including denial and anger. However, there is hope for healing if you're willing to take time for yourself as well as reach out for professional help when needed.

Plan for a "Hard" Day

If I know that it's going to be a difficult day, I try my best to prepare myself as much as possible. I know this may seem easier said than done. I usually pray before anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. I remember the first Easter after Cayse died, we were with my in-laws, and my nephew, godchild, and my son had to stay inside because it was wet outside from all the rain we had recently received.  The kids were playing and making a lot of noise, and my mother-in-law said, “could y’all imagine what it would be like if we had more kids?” I instantly got up from the living room and went outside. I know she did not mean to be hurtful, but Cayse would have been 2 months old. I would have loved to hear my baby boy making all kinds of noises, but unfortunately, I will never be able to. 

There is hope for healing

Healing is a process that takes time and attention. However you are feeling today, you will not feel like this forever. You may need to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that grief brings you today. It's normal for people to want to feel better immediately after losing a baby, but it can take some time before the pain eases up and life begins to feel better, although it may never return to the normal that you used to know. 

You can do things right now that will help speed recovery and make your healing process easier:

• Connect with others who have been through similar experiences. This can be done in person or online through Red Bird Ministries App. Support groups provide an outlet for sharing experiences and emotions with others who have lost children, as well as providing advice on how best to cope with specific situations; they also offer emotional support during difficult times when you need someone who understands exactly where you're coming from.

• Make positive changes in your lifestyle—like getting exercise regularly or spending time outdoors—that will improve both physical health and mental well-being over time. Be kinder towards yourself than usual; give yourself plenty of love during this difficult period!

• Make space for your spiritual life. God always desires to heal us and help us, but we have to take the first step in drawing closer to Him.  It’s okay if you are angry or have questions or don’t know how to pray. Even the desire to pray is a prayer. However you are feeling in your grief, just know that the Lord loves you and wants to share your heart and your grief for your child with you. Red Bird Ministries offers many resources to help you pray and find hope in Christ after your loss.  Reach out to any team member if you need more help in this area. 

The loss of a child is one of the most difficult tragedies that can happen to any family. If you are in this place, know that you are not alone, and there is hope for healing. This post has given some helpful tips on how to survive those harddays after child loss, but if you have more questions or need someone to talk with, please reach out to us at hello@redbird.love