This is my body
Holy Thursday commemorates the Last Supper of Jesus Christ when he established the sacrament of Holy Communion before his arrest and crucifixion. It also commemorates His institution of the priesthood. The holy day falls on the Thursday before Easter and is part of Holy Week. Jesus celebrated the dinner as a Passover feast. Christ would fulfill His role as the Christian victim of the Passover for all to be saved by His final sacrifice.
The Last Supper was the final meal Jesus shared with his Disciples in Jerusalem. During the meal, Jesus predicts his betrayal.
During the Passover meal, Jesus breaks bread and gives it to his Disciples, uttering the words, "This is my body, which is given for you." Subsequently, he passes a cup filled with wine. He then says, "This is my blood..." It is believed those who eat of Christ's flesh and blood shall have eternal life.
Each time we celebrate the Mass, we enter into the heavenly liturgy, which is so powerfully and beautifully described in the Book of Revelation—the Lamb's Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth. It’s when heaven and earth kiss during the consecration, and we are so very close to Our Lord and our departed children.
So many times after our losses, I would kneel during the consecration and hear these words. This is my body, given for you, and I would just weep. I was instantly brought back to the days when my belly was growing during my pregnancy. A beautiful love story where a man and a wife come together in the marital embrace, and inside the mother’s womb, they co-create life with the Heavenly Father. Instantly in love with the child that is growing within their womb. Tears are the only appropriate reaction to a positive pregnancy test + when life fills the room so beautifully. Dreams for this little life begin as he/she grows within. A love that moves a grown man to tears, something so beautiful you can never truly articulate into words.
An immortal soul that will never be erased from our memory, no matter how long their life is. During pregnancy, a mother’s body nourishes her child as he/she develops and grows. My very own blood and water were freely and willingly given to my babies inside my womb. It is a miracle how the Father replenishes what is freely given to our child and leaves you mesmerized. Throughout pregnancy, there are moments when we don’t feel our very best. These are the times when morning sickness has us running for the toilet. In those moments, we touch our bellies and whisper the words, “All for you.“ Mothers are willing to give up everything for their children, their body as he/she grows, and sometimes even their own life.
In 2005 when my placenta was abrupting at 28 weeks, they rushed me into the OR, strapped my arms to the operating table, and my body in the cruciform. It was evident that I laid my life down for my babies. Quickly and quietly, the room was filled with medical professionals who were preparing all measures to save all 3 of us. My OB/GYN took a blade and cut my babies out of my body. Never for one second did I even ask or considered that I could die. I just prayed for my twins to be born alive.
After my losses, I became very disconnected from the very body that breathed life into it from Our Lord. I felt empty, like a tomb. My womb no longer brought comfort to me, and I felt like my body had failed me. In 2012, we conceived again, and at 11 weeks, we found out there was no heartbeat. A miracle turned into another misery. This time returning to the OR for another delivery, but this time I wasn’t awake for it. They strapped my body to the OR table and removed my dead child from my womb. I felt so empty leaving the hospital without a baby.
We can never truly contemplate all the ways that our motherhood and fatherhood resemble the way that Our Lord entered into a human body to enter into the fullness of man, to lay down His life for us. I am no theologian, so I won’t go into theology with you, but when I think of these words, I feel connected to Our Lord in a real and tangible way. His words have become my own in my motherhood. His actions gave everything to us. His death was the greatest love story this world has ever known. How does so much suffering bring so much glory, a love story I will contemplate for the rest of my life?
The death of Our Lord, just like our children, was not the end of the story. It was the beginning of heavenly bliss, a love we have never known completely. A love we will never know until we, too, are face-to-face with God. I pray that one day we all can be mesmerized, fall down and worship Our Lord in the beatific vision.
Until then, when you go to Mass and hear the words “This is my body, given for you,” be continually ravished and reminded of Jesus’s love story for us. It’s the closest we get to heaven, the closest we are to our children. This is where heaven and earth kiss. Offer sweet kisses to your babies and to Jesus.
I hope this Sunday you will find glory in your story. Even if it’s a small glory, offer your worship to God for that little glory. He desires to give you everything, every drop.