Be Kind to Yourself
Be kind to yourself as you go through this journey.
You are grieving so deeply because you loved so deeply. This is the hardest part of this all.
It is hard, especially when you feel like your whole life has been turned upside down, and there's no way out from under it all. I’ll be here to help you take one step forward and remind you to be kind to yourself. It's an exhausting process, but you can do it. I am here to listen if you need me. If you need some time for yourself, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for needing space and time for yourself. Please know when you need I’ll be close by to help you up if you fall.
Whatever feelings come up, whatever emotions fester inside—let them be there without judgment or guilt attached to them. Journal through the hard ones. Remember that even though you may feel like your life has fallen apart right before your eyes, these are temporary feelings and emotions—they won't last forever, so don't let them stop you from taking care of yourself in healthy ways.
Prayer, adoration, Mass, visiting the sacraments, exercise, rest, and reflection can help.
If we take a moment now and then to sit back and remember how blessed even though we may feel like the world is crumbling around us. We were blessed to know our child. Our child’s life had a purpose, big or small. Life is so special and so sacred. We should take time each day to sit down with ourselves quietly with no distractions around us so that in those quiet moments, we can reflect on how beautiful life is when we look at things from another perspective, when we allow ourselves to see God’s beauty, even amid grief and sadness.
It is hard, but you can do it.
Take it one day at a time. Just as you would if you were recovering from an illness, work on taking things one day at a time when dealing with your loss—and don't be afraid to ask for help if your pain feels overwhelming or unmanageable! I’ll be here for you always, and if you need more we connect you with a spiritual director or a counselor.
When you feel so alone and down, look around at your Red Bird community; there are hundreds of us still standing at the foot of our crosses, offering hope to those new to this journey. We are here to support and walk with you. Remember that grief is a shared experience among others whose children has died too; many are experiencing similar struggles as you right now! Knowing this will likely bring comfort when things get tough or confusing for some reason--you aren't alone in feeling this way! Be find to a friend to. There may even come times when talking about these experiences might help you and the RBM community feel less alone. By sharing you may inspire another to share.
It's okay for your heart to feel broken and your mind to feel lost! Grief takes us to places that are foreign to us. When in doubt or feeling shame or embarrassment, be kind to yourself.
I know that what you're going through feels impossible, but believe me when I say that the rawness of grief is only temporary. You will survive the sharp edges of child loss and eventually move forward in time. And you may get to the point where you feel stronger than ever before. You will feel joy again; trust me. You will smile again someday. And when that happens, it will be even more powerful than before because whoever knew that joy and suffering could co-exist.
But first, be kind to yourself, this is new and scary terrain, and you are learning how to live again.
