There are many resources to help you explore the therapeutic benefits of art, music, and storytelling in processing grief.  Children and adults of all ages benefit from processing their emotions through artistic and creative expression. Journaling your thoughts and your emotions about a sibling’s death or writing letters to your loved one are both ways to help move intense and painful emotion through your body. This resource from a child life specialist has many suggestions in this area. 

Rituals create space for children and families to actively enter into grief with defined boundaries.  This can help grieving family members of all ages feel more comfortable expressing their emotion, knowing there is a clear beginning and ending for this time of grief. Rituals and memorials give grief someplace to go and the bereaved something to DO. There are limitless possibilities, but it is best to find rituals or memorials that feel right for your family and the loved one that you have lost. Here are a few ideas:

• Create a memory album or keepsake box with cards and letters from the time of your child’s death. Leave it someplace that surviving children are able to look through whenever they need to. 

• Light candles on the anniversary of the death: Leave flowers, plants, or stones at gravesites.

• Plan a special meal or certain activity for each birthday or anniversary.

• Build a bench overlooking a favorite place: Plant a tree or garden.

• Encourage your living children to talk about their sibling who has passed away. Share stories, look at photos, and celebrate special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries together as a family. 

• Involve your living children in any memorials or remembrance activities for their sibling. This could include attending memorial Masses, participating in charitable events or fundraisers in their sibling's honor, or contributing to projects that keep their memory alive in the community.

• Have specific ways and dates that you pray for or to your deceased child. 

The sibling bond is broken by death, but not destroyed.  Siblings, especially younger children, will need support to see that, in the eyes of faith, their sibling’s life is changed, not ended.  Slowly, the entire family can find ways to adjust and redefine their relationship with the deceased loved one, allowing for a continued bond with that person to endure, in different ways and to varying degrees, throughout their life. A few simple suggestions are:

• Finish a project your loved one was working on: Support their interests through a memorial, memorial fund, or scholarship.

• Take a trip your loved one always wanted to take: Include siblings in planning the funeral or memorial services.

• Emphasize the idea of "continuing bonds" with their sibling who has passed away, rather than trying to "move on" or forget. Help your children find meaningful ways to keep their sibling's memory alive in their daily lives, whether through artwork, journaling, or dedicating acts of kindness in their honor.