How to deal with losing a child through stillbirth.

There are many terrible things in life we never expect to have to happen to us. Losing a child, whether through stillbirth or otherwise, is one of the most painful. This guide walks you through the causes behind stillbirth, your options and rights after losing a child, and suggests ways to cope with this loss.

What is stillbirth?

Stillbirth is when a baby dies in the womb, and there are several ways this can happen. The baby may have died during pregnancy, or it may have been born alive but died soon after birth. If a pregnancy lasts longer than 24 weeks and the baby doesn't come out alive, it's considered a stillbirth. The cause of stillbirth is not known in most cases, but it may be due to complications during pregnancy or labour. This can include placenta problems and umbilical cord abnormalities, as well as maternal health issues such as preeclampsia (high blood pressure). The cause of stillbirth is often unclear and rarely identifiable. It may be because your baby had an underlying condition that was present from birth, even if it wasn't diagnosed until later on in your pregnancy.

Sometimes the cause is known, but in other cases it's not clear why the baby died.

In many cases, the cause is known. For instance, if you have a disease that affects your baby or you have an infection during pregnancy, your baby may be stillborn.

If it is unexpected and no one knows why it happened, it’s probably because there was something wrong with your baby’s growth and development.

If your baby died before 24 weeks of pregnancy (or around 14 weeks after conception), they are classed as being preterm. Most babies who die before 24 weeks of pregnancy do so because they didn't get enough oxygen while they were growing in the womb – this can happen if their placenta stops working properly.

How common is stillbirth?

When a baby is stillborn, it's called an intrauterine death. This means that the baby has died inside the uterus (womb) during pregnancy. Stillbirth affects about 1 in 160 births, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States.

Your rights after having a stillbirth?

I think people forget that parents have rights too after having a stillbirth—they have the right to see their baby and hold their baby if they want to. No one should pressure you either way (and if they do, please speak up!). You also have a right to request an autopsy for your child. You may think that it is a very difficult decision to make, but please know that we completely understand.

It can be helpful in understanding what happened and how to prevent it in the future. The autopsy may also help doctors and midwives learn more about stillbirths and how they can be prevented in the future. It may answer questions like "Why did this happen?" or "Was there something I could have done?". If an autopsy is done, there will always be tissue samples used for research purposes only, which means that you will never receive them back after your child has died.

Of course, what's said here is only a small tip of the iceberg. There are so many other resources available. The specific loss you feel is important to acknowledge, but it's also important to remember that others have felt this same pain, too.

In some cases, these people are specifically trained to help others going through this situation. When you're ready, seek out their assistance and they can provide you with more advice on coping with grief in a healthy way as we try to overcome this tragedy together as our communities support each other during such tough times