Hello, My name is…

Happy Solemnity of the Annunciation of Our Lord.

A few months ago, I was completing a fundraising project before bed to compile some of the families we serve. I was labeling each testimony with the family member’s name and sealing it with “mom of” or “parents of”. For example, I would be Kelly Breaux, Emma Grace, Talon Antoine, and Christian Ryan. These were my children that had died and that I remembered as a mom of Red Bird.

The last two testimonies were that of mothers. So as I was finishing up the graphics on these two testimonies, the part that stayed with me through the evening was this naming concept.

Later that evening, while I was in prayer. I happen to open my eyes and began to stare at my statue of Our Lady of Sorrows. I contemplated again about her pieced heart. I couldn’t help but think about her pain watching her son die. As I was contemplating on her 7 sorrows, the testimonies also collided in my head. This is not unusual for me to be thinking of multiple things at a time. This is a daily battle to stay focus on the need that is of priority, like praying in this specific moment. I sat there mystified by Mary as a grieving mother. Again, it always just tugs at my heart. She is one of us, and having Mary as my friend, spiritual heavenly mother with something in common brings delight into my heart.

But something started to happen as I was thinking of the testimonies and Our Lady of Sorrows; I began to contemplate who she was more deeply. If I had to create a testimony, graphics and introduce her as a mother of loss, I would have to announce her the same way that I announce our mothers of loss. Mary was Jesus’ mother. So that would make her title Mary, Mother of God.

Her title moved me to tears. You know, the lip quiver kind of tears. Little old me, who proudly stood behind her title Kelly Breaux, Mother of Emma Grace, Talon Antoine, and Christian Ryan, just fell more in love with my Heavenly Mother, a grieving mother. Now every time I begin to think about her title, I begin to weep in love for what she did for her son. Mary, the Mother of God, will never let you forget what her son did for you. So while you're having a bad day, think of these 5 words with what that title actually means. It’s not a lofty ideal, but the sacrifice of a mother.

We long for the world not to forget our children, and so we become their only advocate to announce their life to the world. It’s no wonder that our biggest or greatest fear as a mother of loss was that people would forget that they lived and died in vain. The simple fact that their life would have never made a difference in the world or my life as their mother would be total injustice. I couldn’t even fathom the thought as tears rushed to the corners of my eyes as I remembered the day in my foyer when the Lord spoke the words to me when I asked why Mary was so important in the redemption of the world. The Lord answered me loud and cleared these words “You are like Mary.”

I never considered myself anything like Mary because I was so embarrassed that I had run from the Cross and not stayed as she had. I was more like Peter, and this reality brought shame to me. My dignity lay in the fact that I abandoned my Lord when I was at the foot of the Cross. My heart felt deep sadness and embarrassment.

But indeed, I was like Mary. She was given a similar role. My greatest fear is that people would forget that my children impacted the world. Maybe not the same way because Jesus actually saved the world, but you get this desire as a grieving mother to carry on the mission of her deceased child. This was not just a lofty idea but the reality of every drop of blood he shed to save us. That deed could never be forgotten. So, of course, Jesus would give the role to the mother to make sure that no one ever forgot what He had done. Hince, they call the church she because it’s Mary’s role to remind us daily that Jesus died for me. Talk about a tall order for a grieving mother. So technically, she is doing better than me because, for nearly 2000 years, we relive the Passion of Our Lord every lent to remind us of why Christ died on the Cross. I sometimes fail to share my children when the timing isn’t right. The thought this actually happens saddens my heart.

Now, you may be thinking, but she was given a choice. Yes and No. She was given a choice without all of the details. I’m sure if we knew our child would have died, we all ask ourselves could we have been open to that. Would we have accepted the gift and risked the reward of that beautiful child? I have to believe that each of us would have said yes even if we knew they were going to die. That is just what we do as parents.

Does that make the pain any less intense, maybe, possibly? For me, it has taken some time, but I have found that building my relationship with Mary has been the lifeline that I needed to carry this intense pain with me. Knowing that the mother of Our Lord shows us how to do it and is actively helping me to live this life in both joy and sorrow gives me great hope that one day I can be reunited with my little saints in heaven.

So on the day that the angel Gabriel announced to Mary, the Mother of God, she would bear a son and name him Jesus. Take with you a piece of this love that she wants to give to each one of us. Jesus loved you so much, and so did Mary, to offer that sacrifice back up to the Father so that we could spend eternity in heaven with our children. Can you think of a greater sacrifice than to lay down your own life for your friend?

I don’t think so. If there were pregnancy tests way back when I’m sure we would say that the + on the test changed her life because we know how much it changed our lives too. On the annunciation of our little ones, that even though that child died, God will always bring glory out of your story. The pain is not forever, but the love is eternal.

Until we see you in Heaven. Mary, Mother of God, take care of our little saints in your nursery in Heaven.