Exploring Options & Making Decisions

Losing your baby is a suffering of the heart and the body. Women will physically experience miscarriage in many different ways.  You may or may not have choices for how to manage your pregnancy loss, but if you do, here is some useful information on the pros and cons of the three different common methods of treating the loss of your baby in the womb.

Expectant Management

    1. For healthy women without complicating factors, watchful waiting has the fewest risks, although you will need to monitor your bleeding to be sure it does not become too heavy. You may speak with your OB over the phone about guidelines for this.

    2. Miscarrying at home gives you more privacy and autonomy for what will bring you comfort and peace during this difficult time. However, you are still laboring and delivering, so you may benefit from getting additional support from your spouse or friends/family.

    3. You are still a mother, even though your baby has tragically died. Managing your miscarriage at home naturally allows your body to take the time it needs to move through this emotionally and physically painful time. Delivering your tiny baby and being able to see and hold his/her remains can bring beauty and closure to a painful time.

    1. It can be psychologically painful to carry your baby for days or weeks after he or she has died. Your womb has become a tomb and the reality of this is a great suffering, especially as you wait for your body to begin the process of releasing your baby. Some women may desire the process to be over more rapidly.

    2. If it is determined that the baby died several weeks ago, or you have already been waiting several weeks, and you haven’t had any physical signs of miscarriage, then you may be approaching the point at which a D&C is indicated to prevent signs of infection. If you show any signs of fever, severe abdominal pain, or foul-smelling discharge, get immediate medical care.

    3. There can be a risk for heavy bleeding, especially is all the pregnancy material is not expelled.

Surgical/D&C

    1. This is the quickest way for a miscarriage to be complete. You could be scheduled quickly for surgery and have the uterus emptied that same day.

    2. Women generally experience less bleeding after a D&C than with any other option.

    1. This is an invasive medical procedure requiring anesthesia and greater expense.

    2. There are risks with any surgery, including risk of infection, or uterine perforation or scarring, both of which can make it harder to conceive in the future.

    3. As a result of the procedure, your baby's body will likely no longer be intact. You should, however, still be able to request the remains for burial if you so desire.

Medication

    1. The miscarriage will be over in a shorter amount of time.

    2. If you are in the first trimester you will most likely be able to take the medication and manage the miscarriage at home still.

    3. You will still have the opportunity to easily preserve your baby's remains for burial if you choose.

    1. The medication has side effects including nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Because the medication works by causing uterine contractions, the pain may be worse than if you did not take the medication.

    2. Depending on your baby's gestational age, you may need to be admitted to the hospital in order to take the medication and allow the miscarriage to happen.

An article from Verily on options in miscarriage:

An article from Natural Womanhood on options in miscarriage:

An article on navigating miscarriage when you want to bury your baby:

The most important thing is for you to have an honest conversation with your doctor or midwife about how you would like to manage your miscarriage, and to be willing to listen to his or her concerns about your health, while advocating for your spiritual, physical, and emotional needs.