Episode 5: Understanding Grief: Moving Beyond Stages & Phases

Sponsored by The Knights of Columbus - Dean Agency. We are so grateful for their generous support of Red Bird Ministries.  

In this episode, Kelly, Elizabeth and Brittany talk about the common model of grief “stages” and compare that to the reality of what it is like to live through grief. 

We each talk about their understanding of grief *before* grief came knocking on their door and how that knowledge about grief compares with their experience of grief.  

We debunk the idea that the 5 Stages of Grief are a reasonable expectation for those suffering the loss of a child. Coined by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, the 5 stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)  were not actually about grief at all, but rather a model for how an individual can move through their own imminent death.  

At the same time, we are desperate to find a way to contain the enormity of our grief.  Very often the bereaved are searching for anything to help them find structure or expectation through the devastation of losing a child. 

We discuss the 4 Tasks of Mourning as described by Worden and how that fits into our experience of grief and loss:  To Accept the Reality of the Loss, To Process the Pain of Grief, To Adjust to a World Without the Deceased, and To Find an Enduring Connection With the Deceased in the Midst of Embarking on a New Life. 

Finally, we offer HOPE to all of us suffering the extraordinary cross of child loss:  You are not alone. Take all your grief to Jesus.  He longs to bring you comfort and restoration. 

We pray this episode blesses you and helps you feel seen and understood in your grief.  You are not alone.  Red Bird Ministries is here to help you carry your extraordinary cross of grieving, loving, and mourning your child. Your grief is not for nothing.  The Lord is so close. 

Our Lady, Undoer of Knots, pray for us.