What are the Stages of Grief?
Grief is a normal reaction to loss. Whether a person is grieving the death of someone or something important to them, this process usually involves five stages. While these stages aren't universal, they are fairly common and generally understood by most people who have experienced grief in their lives. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Let's take a closer look at each of these:
Denial
This stage is the first reaction to loss. The person is unable to believe that the death has occurred. I was in denial when I found out my son had Anencephaly and he would not survive after birth if he would be born alive. Unfortunately, I am still in denial, I still have a hard time processing my son is not here with us on Earth.
If you find yourself stuck in denial for weeks or months after losing someone close to you:
Talk about it! Talk about how hard it is for you to accept that they're gone and how much their loss means to you.
Get support from friends who are going through similar experiences (or even strangers who've been through similar experiences).
Anger
You may feel angry when you suffer a loss. This is not a sign that you are weak, and it does not mean that you do not love the person who died. Anger can be a normal response to grief. It can also be helpful in letting us know that we have lost something important and need to take action to protect ourselves from further harm or loss.
However, anger may also represent other emotions such as fear or depression. If your anger gets out of control, consider seeing a mental health professional for help with managing your feelings and behavior during this difficult time.
Bargaining
You may try to negotiate with God, or you may try to make deals with them about what you'll do if they do come back; bargaining often leads to guilt when it doesn't work out as planned. I bargained with God multiple times while I was pregnant. I asked God over and over why me, why my baby? I even said if a miracle happened and my baby survived I would NEVER ask for a favor again. Unfortunately, the outcome was not the way I wanted it and I disliked God for what he allowed to happen. After the anger started to subside, and I allowed God back in my life, I understand why this happened.
Depression
Depression is a normal part of the grieving process. It can occur after any type of loss, and it's usually temporary. However, some people experience depression long-term and need medical treatment to manage their symptoms. If you're experiencing depression for more than two weeks, seek help from a mental health professional.
This type of grief reaction happens when someone loses someone or something important to them— Symptoms may include:
Depressed mood (feeling sad) most of the day every day for several weeks or longer
Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed (for example, hobbies or work)
Decreased energy level
Social isolation
Acceptance
Acceptance is the final stage of grief, and it's where you accept the loss and begin to move on. You no longer feel so overwhelmed by sadness or pain, and you can begin to rebuild your life, however slowly. The idea that you will never get over this loss may still cause you some distress, but it won't keep you from living again.
The stages of grief are not linear, and may present in different orders for different people.
The stages of grief are not a straight line.
The stages of grief are not the same for everyone.
The stages of grief are not a diagnosis, nor do they mean you have “Grief Disorder X” or any other mental illness.
The stages of grief are not a cure, but rather a way to work through your feelings and experiences with loss in order to heal as best you can and move forward with life.
If you recognize yourself in any of these stages, that’s okay. It takes time to get through the grieving process, and it can be helpful to reach out for support. Your friends and family might not always know how best to help you, or what you need most right now; however, if they are willing to understand your needs and actively listen without judgment they will be able to give you the support that is essential during this time. I hope that this guide was useful in giving insight into each stage of grief and ways to work through them effectively so when you feel ready, please consider sharing these resources with someone close who could use them too!
