Your first day back to work after loss.

It's hard to know what to expect when you return to work after losing a child. When the time comes, it can be overwhelming—and even paralyzing—to think about how to navigate your first day back. You might feel like you're being asked to do something you can't do: get out of bed and go to work.

You may feel like everyone will be watching you and judging your every move. Or maybe you're worried that people will assume that because you lost a child, they'll treat you differently than they did before.

And then there's the guilt: The guilt that comes with leaving your other children at home while you go off to do something that isn't focused on them. The guilt that comes with feeling as though you should be spending more time with them. The guilt that comes from not having anything meaningful to say when people ask “how are you doing.” The guilt from knowing that no matter how much work gets done today or what kind of job I do, nothing will bring my child back.

The days are filled with Firsts. The first day back to work after child loss. The first time you really feel like yourself again. The first time you think about your child without crying. These are all important moments and ones that you should be proud of, but it can also be hard to know how to handle them.

The first day back to work after child loss is a day that is filled with first.

It's also the first time you've been around other people since you lost your child, and it might even be the first time you've been in your office or with those colleagues since you lost your child. It's all so new.

But there are also some things that will feel familiar: the smell of coffee brewing, the sound of people talking on the phone, and maybe even the way people smile at each other when they pass in the hallway. All these things are what make up "your" place—the one place where you feel safe, comfortable, and able to be yourself.

The last thing your company wants is to make you feel like anything less than yourself or less than welcome because they are all happy to have you back! Your co-workers can be just the lifesaver you need to feel some kind of normalcy in a world where nothing has felt normal.