Will I Ever?

If you are like me, you have so many questions. It’s so natural to not expect that you will ever experience joy again while grieving.

Will I grieve forever? Will I smile again? Will I laugh again?

Yes.

Yes, yes, and yes.

You will grieve forever. You will smile again. And laugh again. It may not seem like it right now, but it's true. When you love someone with all your heart (your child), you never stop loving them—and you never stop grieving the loss of that love. And you'll never forget him/her your precious child who made you smile and laugh, no matter how much time has passed and no matter how long you had with them.

But the good news is that you don't have to be sad all the time—and there are a lot of great things that come with grief: like making sure your child's memory lives on or helping other people who are going through similar situations.

So don't worry about whether or not your grief will fade away—it won't. Instead, focus on what grief means for you, and how you can use it to help others in need.

I can't tell you when you'll be able to smile or laugh, but I do know that you'll be able to smile and laugh again.

When your child died, it was a shock. You didn't expect this to happen, and now that it did, it's all you can think about. You're consumed by grief—and rightly so! That life meant the world to you, and you want your child back so badly.

But at some point, your mind will start moving forward. It might not happen right away or even for a long time after the death of your child happens, but eventually—and maybe sooner than you think—you'll find yourself thinking about other things instead of your grief.

It won't feel like it right away because grief is still new and fresh in your mind, but with time and practice, you'll start noticing that there are days when you don't think about your loss as much as others do. And then eventually those days will add up until they become weeks—and those weeks become months—and then… maybe someday years.

You will smile again. You will laugh again, all while grieving. You lost the greatest love of your life, your child. That loss is heavy, and needs space to process.